I'm Not Like Them (Female Body Image)

August 28, 2013

It is my belief that if you carry yourself positively, embraces your uniqueness, and aligns your actions to the greater good of those around you then you cannot help but to be beautiful.

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We are defined by our actions only after being judged by our appearance. I’m guessing it’s because an appearance can be observed and interpreted quickly but actions take time and thought. Regardless, we are all aware this happens daily. We sort out those “like us” and “not like us” seeking potential friends, mates, enemies (if that’s how you choose to live your life), and competition. A standard to which you compare yourself to (again, if you choose to live that way). We all know this truth that’s why we choose to get tattoos, dress a certain way, and try to align ourselves with certain groups. … To help celebrate whom we are and identify us to our “like” or “unlike” people.

Things go off track when others use these social and visual queues to “sort us” but when they take it a step further and do not allow for our actions to speak because they have already defined you on visual observation alone…When they have closed themselves to the beauty you could enrich their life with.

I say those who are judging can happily be sorted into the “unlike” category. I’m not interested in being your friend, mate, nor do I bother keeping enemies. I also don’t compare, so no need to approach me on any level. Instead, I will cast my beacon to those who celebrate life… Let their hair down and dare to live.

Equally as distasteful as passing judgment on others is passing judgments on yourself! To be unkind and mute your own beauty; I’m talking about smothering yourself, your identity, your individuality trying to keep up with societies “beautiful.” To feel shame over this curve, or lack of curve, or the way your hair is to curly/strait/wavy/on and on. Yes, find a style that expresses who YOU are so you can show the world at a glance some of your preferences and tastes but stay true to you! If they are a quality person they see you then observe your actions. THESE are the people we want in our lives.

Our true beauty isn’t what we look like but instead how we carry ourselves. Choose your body art, style, and shine for the world to see.

My name is Jill. I’m 33 and am very comfortable with my personal choices of self-expression and style. My tattoos have been chosen wisely and give people a glance at which I am until my actions speak up and define me. Though, conservative in nature my tattoos are permanent expressions of me and have chosen to be in life.

I have the Ironman logo on my ribs. I completed the 140.6 mile race in 2011. It’s a badge of strength and a sign to those who have also taken that journey. Only after completing an Ironman can one really understand the limits, or lack there of, of your body and mental game. A mutual respect is born the second the Ironman logo is seen by a fellow finisher.

Tramp Stamp on my back. Yup, I called it that. I got it at 18… It was my first tattoo. I love that I’m a product of 1998. It’s so appropriate for coming of age that year. I have fond memories of the day I got it. The obligatory “F You! I’m an adult now!”

Both Feet and a toe ring- because I can!! I feel like it is a nice surprise for those who see me outside of skates and in sandals or barefoot. If you know how much workout, and I skate then you know it isn’t often I get to show those ones off.

On that note, I choose to workout, eat clean, and maintain a muscular body. My body doesn’t fit the classic beauty image because my hands are rough from lifting weights, I have more muscle definition then lots of men, my feet are tore up from skating, and my boobs are perfectly small and real. This body is my essence and my lifestyle. I align my actions to help others with their fitness goals and nutrition education. I empower people to see their potential when they are cloudy in that vision. I laugh often and stay positive. All of those actions define me and are in direct alignment with my personal style and expression.

It is my belief that if you carry yourself positively, embraces your uniqueness, and aligns your actions to the greater good of those around you then you cannot help but to be beautiful. No society/media defined esthetic shortcoming can mute a beautiful soul shown through actions…. But a societal/media-defined beauty can become ugly at the drop of a dime with a false sense of self, selfish, and manipulative behavior.

The older I get the clearer these things become. Unfortunately, like most women the lesson is learned after self hatred and morphing into different unauthentic versions of myself until one day after complete exhaustion I gave up and become comfortable with the real me…. Then the world responded and told me how “beautiful” I was… And I didn’t even have to look like a Victoria Secret modal!! My little boobs and big thighs were ok! After years of padded bras and trying to loose weight so I had a ballerina body! You know, so when I walked my thighs wouldn’t rub. And my big butt… this is okay too? Perfect. Call me “Pushy Tushy” because I’m strapping on roller skates and owning this.

I choose my body adornments and style to express myself and let my actions scream that I am to the world… And those who judge, I kindly walk away- they are doing ME a favor. I don’t need that negativity in my life anyway!

Pushy Tushy

One thought on “It is my belief that if you carry yourself positively, embraces your uniqueness, and aligns your actions to the greater good of those around you then you cannot help but to be beautiful.

  1. In the early 60’s there was a cartoon character whose name was Odie O. Cologne. Odie was a composed and competent skunk but the one quality that has always stuck with me was that he was honest and loyal. He was for me True Blue Odie Calody. (Don’t know where the Calody came from but that was my name for him.) From almost the first time I met you back in the days of the Shirleys I have thought of you as a real life True Blue Odie Calody…well…except for the skunk part. Qualities I value highly. I remember the evening I walked past you as you lay on the rink floor talking to other derby girls only to hear you express some doubt about your attractiveness. I don’t know if you remember but that stopped me in my tracks. What a totally detached from reality, common as it may be, thought.

    I interrupted and told you “No way.” That was true in part because you are physically attractive. More importantly it was because you were and are a True Blue Odie Calody.

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