Beauty is a term that I have struggled with my entire life, and I have learned over the years that beauty has very little to do with what a person looks like.
During my childhood I was teased relentlessly for the way I looked. It was hard, especially changing schools what seemed like constantly. Later when in high school after I “blossomed” into a voluptuous teen I had no more trouble with being teased. I started getting attention for other reasons. I stuck up for the kids that were being picked on for being awkward or weird. Yet, still I struggled with being comfortable in my own skin. I still do.
I look back on those days thinking, “what was wrong with me?”, now that I have struggled with health challenges that have caused significant weight gain over the past decade and daily painful challenges.
As an adult and a mother it became harder to find time to get out and meet people with similar interests. After all I don’t fit the normal “mom” look. Purple hair and tattoos tend to turn some people off. I have never apologized for being myself and having my own sense of style. Each of my tattoos represents a piece or period of my life and tells a story of their own. Whether it is my family’s Irish roots in my Celtic knots, a tribute to my husband Dean for always being my rock, or the transformation my life made after my daughter became a part of it. They are as much a part of me as anything else.
In 2012 after embarking on a journey to take my health back I decided that I was going to do something I never thought possible before. I wanted to play roller derby. Since making that decision I have continued to struggle with my health and it is a slow going process, but my league mates have been behind me and will continue to be there for me. I have come to know some of the most amazing women that otherwise I never would have met. These are women that don’t care what size, shape or skin color you are. These women, along with my husband who has always been my biggest fan have shown me that being /feeling sexy is as much about attitude as it is anything else.
You never know when looking across the room at someone what their personal struggles may be, health, financial, emotional wellbeing, mental stability. Be kind, because a smile or simple gesture can make or break how someone else values themselves.